Ever wondered what it would feel like to fly?

I haven't eaten today.

It's 2pm.

I'm not sure I want to.



For those of you who know anything about psychology and depression, you know this is how it starts. Eating disorders, self harm, all the things they warn you about. It started a while back. Raking my nails across the soft skin of my neck when I felt threatened, digging my nails into the fleshy parts of my hands and legs just to focus on something. I even wrote multiple posts on it trying to find a way to...bring it up with myself. I wanted to start the conversation with my demons and tell them that this stage was over. I wanted to tell them to shrivel up and go away because I have other things to do now.

That's not how it works.

That's not how any of this works.

Depression, self harm, eating disorders, anxiety, Fibro...they don't go away because you will them to. The chemicals are there and you lit up your first "relief-arette". Once you touch that precipice, even if you tell yourself you'll never walk off, it's firmly engrained into your mind. No matter how many times you tell everyone you're okay, that little voice in your mind goes "But you could walk off".

It's not something that stops. That voice, though it may quiet, it will always be there. Waiting. Waiting for that one day that brings you back to that edge, back to that cliff. That is the day it will walk up beside you and go

"Fancy meeting you here. Ever wondered what it would feel like to fly?"